My Blog: I'm special - just like everyone else.

What would you do if you were involved in a project that you just didn’t enjoy doing? What if the project was in service and of benefit to others? What if this project had others that were not only willing but anxious to take my place and would do as least as good a job overall as I do? The other people willing and able to take my place will have a different leadership style than me but, I have absolutely no doubt, would do a bang-up job; just not the same as me. Those people currently involved with me in this project wouldn’t be happy that I’m leaving - at least that’s what they tell me. And more than one said that they would leave if I left. So, should I just suck it up and continue doing what I don’t want to do just to ensure they won’t quit? They are needed but they need me to continue the direction I’ve taken this project and it’s the direction they want to go. It’s also the direction those who we serve want to continue. 

I should also mention that it’s not just a matter of my not WANTING to continue but a matter of me getting prepared, us prepared, and setting everything up has become a drudgery for me and I find it quite depressing. Quite depressing indeed. I get miserable each week as I do the preparation work. It’s like a cloud that hangs over my head each and every week. As the Russell Smith’s wonderful song preformed by the Amazing Rhythm Aces says, “The End is Not in Sight”. 

When I started this project, I was not the one “In Charge”. The person in charge did a wonderful job and I didn’t have to lead things in preparation - I was a “helper”. Yes, I suppose I was a lead “helper”, but still a helper and not the overall lead. Unfortunately, this leader was called away and can no longer participate. I miss him dearly, but I never signed on to the extent in which I’m currently serving. He recruited me for the position without either of us knowing he would be leaving and it seemed natural for me to try to step into his shoes. Honestly, I never wanted to participate in the project in the first place. But they needed me to round out the team and keep the project going. 

I only have 4 followers so I doubt seriously if anyone will read this. And if you are, I doubt you read this far. But if by some miracle or outside chance that you ARE still reading, please comment and let me know what you think. I value your opinion. 

Gee whiz. I’m really torn. I love SEC football and that leads me to the quandary which is the BCS National Championship game between the Auburn Tigers and the Oregon Ducks. My son and daughter-in-law are students at Auburn although he is a stanch ‘Bama fan and she’s an LSU fan. I’ve sent plenty of money to Auburn University (more than most Auburn fans in the state, I’ll bet), so you’d think I’d be feeling like I was part of “The Family”. But I’m just not feeling it. 

Maybe it’s because most every Auburn fan I know - and that is legion - is all about Cam Newton. It doesn’t seem to be about the team at all. And as good as Cam is, he’s not the whole team. If the same thing happens to Cam as happened to Colt last year, I think Auburn doesn’t have a prayer. I have to wonder what would Auburn’s season record be if they’d had an average quarterback. I’ve read some sportswriters say they may be as lowly as 7-5. Could be. I think if everybody was talking about the great Auburn offense as a whole or the swarming defense, I could buy into it; but that’s just not the case. It’s all about Cam. They’ve even changed their motto from War Damn Eagle, to War Cam Eagle. What about the other 21 guys (and the backups?) Those poor guys aren’t getting any recognition at all. What a shame for a team to have to live in this shadow and have the National Championship given to one man. 

I can’t say my feelings are based entirely because of the emphasis on Cam though. That would be disingenuous. This is Auburn for cryin’ out loud!! I just can’t pull FOR them. I know I should and everything in my head tells me I should. But my heart just won’t let me. The best I can do is just not pull against them. At least that’s what I’ll try to do. No promises though.

Oh yes. Kidney stones. What is going on around here? I woke up this morning with a pain in my left hip but that’s to be expected when you’re my age. It was a tad concerning because I usually have pain in my right hip, not my left one. I’ve got sciatica in my right hip from back surgery I had a few years ago, so I’m used to that side being painful. But I just kinda limped along and tried to ignore the new pain. I fried up a pound of bacon to have on hand for the rest of the week when I started getting this pain in my left side/back (kidney area). It started mildly at first and then graduated to a full-blown attack of some kind. Since my father had kidney stones a few years ago, I was pretty sure what it was but knowing what it was certainly didn’t have any healing effect. It just got worse and worse so it was impossible to get into any sort of position to get comfortable. It was very much like the pain I experienced when I had a gallbladder attack when I was in my early 30’s. That’s another story…

I hate, hate, hate to go to the doctor, so when I Becky asked if I wanted her to call the doctor and get me an appointment, I told her, “Yes, PLEEEAAASSSEEE do!” I’d gotten desperate. It was just like when you take your car to the mechanic because it’s having a problem -Once you get there, the problem stops. Well, by the time I got to the doctor, the pain had subsided tremendously. Of course. But when he pressed on my side, it was a sharp, stabbing pain. 

I had to make a donation to the urine pool, and they confirmed that it was indeed kidney stones. I’ve just got to drink a lot of fluids - except carbonated drinks - and pee into a filter…. what’s that about you may ask. Well it seems that when you pass a stone, they want to know what it’s made of so they can, what? I don’t remember. The filter allows you to capture the stone, no matter how small it is and take it back to them (some people are just sick). I asked where you get such a thing as a urine filter and he told me to go to the drug store. They have them there. After driving all over town, it’s been determined that there are no urine filters in Fairhope. I’m kinda glad to hear that. I don’t want anyone to go through this pain, so no urine filters tells me that there’s not a big demand for them. A friend of mine told me I should call the hospital’s ER and tell them that I’ve been to the doctor and he required me to have one (or more?). So, I’ll do that. I can’t imagine that they’d be selfish with them, but what do I know? I’m new at this kidney stone thing. 

Okay, back to when I was at the doctor. He basically told me that he wouldn’t give me pain medication because it really wouldn’t do any good. He expected I’d get nauseous and wouldn’t be able to keep it down. If that happens, I’m supposed to call him and go to the ER to get the pain meds injected. Maybe I’ll also ask for a urine filter while I’m there. But the funny thing is, the whole while he was talking about NOT giving me pain meds, he was writing a prescription for pain meds. It was kinda like that Volkswagen commercial where the guy is spinning the pen around in his hand and just not paying attention to it. He was talking, looking at me and writing all at the same time. Then he handed me the prescription. I didn’t even look at it, nor did I know it was an Rx for pain until I got out of his office. I thought maybe it was for the urine filter… Somebody is certainly guarding them closer than they are Lortab.

I’m home now, looking after Pippin and drinking plenty of fluids.

I’ll let everyone know how I’m “passing time” later. I hope everything comes out okay. 

Becky just got home from the grocery store. I asked her to buy a couple of chickens so I could boil them and use the broth for Pippin. He’s sick again, but that’s a whole other story that I’ll write about another time - maybe. 

Back to the chicken…. We were looking to see if giblets were included with the whole bird and here’s what the package said: “Giblets may be of irregular proportions”. Well, aren’t we all? I just thought that was hilarious!!

But it got me thinking: Seriously, aren’t we all of irregular proportions? I think so in many different ways. Somethings aren’t negotiable and can’t be changed. For example, I’ve got really skinny legs. I look like a potato on toothpicks. I used to workout a LOT. 6 days a week - and I’d burn my calf muscles until I could hardly walk to no avail (I use “to no avail” much too often). But there are other areas that CAN be changed like my waistline could be changed with the right diet and exercise if I only had the discipline. I could change how well I sing and how well I play my instruments if I’d just practice more often. 

We can also improve our attitudes and spiritual lives, don’t you think? And why wouldn’t we want to do that? Yet, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve found to do. I find that sometimes I’m just treading water with my spiritual life and slowly sinking with my attitude, and my attitude has a direct correlation to my spiritual life. I KNOW what things to do and yet I don’t do them. Or at least I don’t do them as much or with the intensity as I should. I’m my own worst enemy. 

I want to become a better writer, so I’ve decided to try to remember (it’s hell getting old) to write here daily. I don’t know what I’ll always say, but I’ll come up with something. 

Well, I’m off to work on a recipe for sweet potato cheese cake. It’s just something I’ve been wanting to try. That’s another way for me to improve my attitude: make up recipes. Nothing so wonderful as to create a wonderful dish of your own by making up your own recipe. Wish me luck!!

Wow. I had no idea that it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. I started this blog with the intention of writing SOMETHING everyday. I guess that would be a bit tedious for those 4 who follow me (shameless self-promotion), but I guess y’all can just skip it if you want to. It’s up to you. I don’t write much on here because, frankly, I don’t always have much to say. I think some people just think I’m quiet. Not so much - I think I’m just dull. 

As a musician, I like to play music. I used to play at a certain area church and I loved doing it. I consider that my ministry. But then there was a big flair up where somebody thought the band was only playing for our own glory. I can honestly say that was NOT the reason I was playing. I can’t say that for everyone who was playing because I can’t possibly know their heart. That’s between them and God. So that ended and we moved on with hopes that after a few months of healing, I’d be able to resume my ministry somewhere else. 

But alas, things don’t always work out as planned. The new church already had a band and each of the players played every week. There was no sign of a rotation among musicians who were members of the church. Most of the musicians from the old church joined this new church (about 16 people total), but none of them played either. Well, that’s not exactly true - there was one who played on a few occasions when one of the permanent guys had to be out for whatever reason. But for the most part, we weren’t involved in the new music program. And yes, there were occasions when musicians were solicited in the bulletin and I always filled it out. But I was never contacted. Even when I personally appealed to the appropriate leadership, nothing much happened. I WAS able to play on a couple of occasions (this is for the Sunday morning praise/worship band), and I was very grateful.

Thankfully, God is in control. I was given the opportunity to lead worship for a wonderful program on Friday night. I’m thankful that I’m able to play several instruments and this one involved playing guitar since I have a real problem with playing bass and singing at the same time, not to mention there was already a bass player. No way was I going to try to take his spot. Some people can play bass and sing while others have the same problem as me. With bass, you’re basically (no pun intended) playing one melody while singing something entirely different. My brain and fingers just don’t operate that way.  Bass is my MUCH preferred instrument to play. I’m never happier than when I’m playing bass.  Besides, it’s been a LONG time since I fronted a band.

ANYWAY (sorry for the tangent, but it’s part of the background so you can know where I’m going with this), I accepted the opportunity for the Friday night program. I have to be perfectly honest, because what good is a blog if you can’t be honest? I’ve never been exactly thrilled with playing in this band despite the incredibly important ministry/program. I’ve never been happy with the sound of the band. So, I’ve taken the band in a new direction - doing Gospel-based blues. I’ve played in various rock and blues bands over the past 40+ years and that’s really the music I love. It’s part of what makes me who I am. The sound is better now to me and the people seem to like it (I now use my harmonica rather than playing guitar). But still, I’m not happy. I’m just trying to keep my word and be obedient. 

This is getting way more complicated than I planned. But I can’t leave out the part about how the “new” church (not so new to us now) has grown in the past three and a half years. LEAPS AND BOUNDS!! And that’s excellent! It just proves that the church is doing the right stuff, providing the right ministries, etc… We’ve even had to go to 4 services on Sunday mornings to accommodate all the new members and curiosity seekers. That meant putting together a new band for those additional services! YES!!! Maybe I’d get a chance! But I still didn’t get to play on Sunday mornings… Oh well. I’m playing on Friday nights in a very important position. BUT - and this is purely ME - I was raised in small churches. I’ve always enjoyed the intimacy of small churches and knowing everyone. This church is now really, really, really big by MY standards. There were about 700 members when we joined and now there are somewhere north of 3000…

Enter my best friend. He happens to be the worship leader at another church in town and one where I attended many services and youth events when I was in high school. The praise/worship band there has a real need for musicians and he’s asked me to come play with them. However, they practice on Thursday nights. We also practice on Thursday nights. They can’t change their practices because of scheduling problems with other programs they have going. We can’t change our practice night for the same reason. They start their practice at 5:30. We start ours at 6:30…. hmmm… So, I asked our folks if they’d be willing to move our practice back to 7:00. Thankfully, they all can, so I can play in both bands! It’s about 20 minutes between the two churches so maybe I can do it…. Maybe.

I’m just wondering how long I can actually do both bands. I’m already feeling the mental strain but it’s probably nothing I can’t handle. Can your heart be in both “projects”? I don’t want to do a halfway job at either place. Can I do it? I suppose time will tell.  

One problem is the new direction we’ve taken the band, this Gospel-blues thing that everybody seems to love. Not just anybody can lead a band like this and have it authentic. So, even if I could find someone who would take the Friday band, I’m not sure they could continue in that direction… I’m not sure that’s even important… I’m not sure I should worry about that. Heck, that’s not true. I’m sure the other band members wouldn’t LIKE another direction (they love the new stuff – so I worry if they would continue the band, thereby putting them into my same past situation of not having an opportunity to play someplace, But I’m not sure it’s my problem. God should determine which direction the band should be following and that should be whatever glorifies HIM.

I guess I should note that my family and I are joining the new church this Sunday morning. I’m happily playing there more often than not and it was just splitting up where we were all attending. 

Sorry if this was boring and perhaps hard to follow, but I needed to get it all written down. One more thing of which I’m not sure - if writing it has helped. 

Well, it’s been quite a week. My mother-in-law, Mary Ella Kidd passed away on Wednesday - rather unexpectedly. She’s not been in the best of health but certainly not at death’s door so it was quite a shock. At least it was to me. The funeral was on Friday. Then my father-in-law’s birthday was on Saturday so shifting gears was pretty hard but it was a welcome diversion. But today was a very special day. My niece had a baby!! It was the first of that new generation and would have been Mary Ella’s first great-grandchild. Yes, that’s sad, but what a joyful occasion! While we’re sad at her passing and will miss her terribly, we’re overjoyed at this new addition. I’m now a great-uncle. You know, when I was a small child, I remember having great-uncles and aunts and my gosh they were OLD!! But you know what? I’m thrilled to be a great-uncle. I will own that title proudly. It may be the only time I’ll ever be a great anything!! 

It’s so cool that when God took one from our family home to be with Him, He gives us a new child. His child. And now ours too. I wonder what he wants for Christmas!

I’d love to play me some golf. Soon. Like today or tomorrow but I guess since it’s getting on toward supper-time, I’d better forget today. My current quandary is that my clubs are very old and the grips aren’t the best in the world. In fact, they’re pretty dried and cracked. Not only that but they aren’t what anybody could describe as the greatest clubs in the world. Not only that, but my bag, which was a very nice bag back in it’s day, is pretty torn up. There’s always a reason (or excuse) for everything and the reason my equipment is in such bad shape is because I haven’t played since 1995 when I left the Army. The Army courses are great and they green fees are very reasonable. So it’s my own fault that my stuff’s messed up.

I really hate to spend the money to buy new equipment and I guess I could get by with the old stuff to see if I’m gonna stick with it but one thing that I KNOW I’ll have to have before I can hit the links is shoes. And dang! Them thangs is expensive!! I don’t even know where my old ones are but you know if I haven’t played in 15 years, they wouldn’t be usable anyway.

I guess I’m at a crossroads right now. I either get off my moth-eaten wallet and spend the money or forget the whole thing.

Another thing I’m told is that I need to hit several different kinds of clubs to see what suits me best. I guess that’s a good idea but it’s just one more thing to have to do before I get out there.

I was never a good golfer, but that’s really beside the point. I’m 53, so I’m not playing on the PGA tour or anything. I’d just like to get a little exercise (be nice now - that’s a subject for a whole other blog), and enjoy the outdoors.

I think I’ll get some shoes and go play a couple of rounds to see if the old love for the game is still there. Like I don’t already know.